Quotes to Live By — Living Deliberately

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Out of any author I’ve read, Henry David Thoreau definitely has the most inspirational quotes to live by. This one comes from his book Walden, and was the main quote in my life that convinced me that I ought to spend a great deal of time in solitude, reflecting on life and how to best live it.

I went to the woods because I wished to live deliberately, to front only the essential facts of life, and see if I could not learn what it had to teach, and not, when I came to die, discover that I had not lived. I did not wish to live what was not life, living is so dear; nor did I wish to practice resignation, unless it was quite necessary. I wanted to live deep and suck out all the marrow of life, to live so sturdily and Spartan-like as to put to rout all that was not life.

Thoreau spent two full years in the woods of Concord, Massachusetts, in a home he built himself.  He eagerly sought solitude, and through it, something more.  And through his experience, I learned not to be afraid of solitude, but rather to seek it and look forward to it.  As a teenager growing up in a big city, solitude always seemed like a terrifying concept — alone with nothing to do.  But now that I’ve spent a significant amount of time in solitude, I can say that nothing was more beneficial to my growth as a man and a human being.  I’m going to finish with an excerpt from a Robert Frost poem about him wishing to disappear into a large forest and be lost to his thoughts and the trees.

“I should not be withheld but that some day
into their vastness I should steal away
Fearless of ever finding open land,
or highway where the slow wheel pours the sand.
I do not see why I should e’er turn back,
Or those should not set forth upon my track
To overtake me, who should miss me here
And long to know if still I held them dear.
They would not find me changed from him they knew–
Only more sure of all I thought was true.”

That poem gives me chills every time I read it.  His final two lines are the perfect description of the benefit of solitude — gaining a deep sense of confidence about the life you lead, knowing how to live deliberately, what’s worth fighting for and what’s not.  I hope you enjoyed these two quotes to live by on the benefit of solitude.


Romantic Thoughts and Wedding Vows

I don’t know why but I started writing my wedding vows the other day.  Being a single guy, that’s kind of strange, even for an old fashioned romantic like me :)  It’s difficult to explain why I wanted to start writing them (romantic thoughts are often inexplicable) but once I started writing them, I couldn’t stop.  Once I sat down with pen and paper to write them, my mind suddenly began to envision what it would be like to someday stand in front of a girl that I’m hopelessly in love with and vow to her the kind of man I want to be and the kind of life I want to live.  And thinking about it brought a new question to mind.  Should I try to be that man even now?  Would she even care that even before I knew her, just the thought of knowing that I would one day stand before God and her and vow to be the kind of man who’s worthy of the love of a girl like her, gave me the resolve to do those things even before meeting her?

Now I’m not going to share the vows that I’ve written.  I don’t think I’ll share them with anyone until the day I share them with everyone.  But I will share the poem that I also composed while caught up in the swirl of romantic thoughts that made me first want to start working on the wedding vows.  It may not be meaningful to anyone but me.  I hope you enjoy it though.  Tell me what you think of it.

“This little spot I remember well
The ground where those few teardrops fell
When we went for a walk that Summer’s eve
And I gave you ring that would never leave.
And you gave me a smile that’s always near
A new day’s dawn shone through our fear.
Our hope sank deep and washed us new
And shadows trembled at the glow of you.”

Having lived in many different places, (the jumbled cities of third world Cambodia, and the solitude of the woods of Minnesota) I’ve considered myself an astute observer of human nature, of men especially.  Men are so often a mass of contradictions.  I have seen men do crazy things for love, make themselves fools and sacrifice all their comforts and pleasures to go after the person they love.  And then, almost immediately, once they get what they fought so hard to attain, they begin to let it go, reverting back to their original nature and doing those things again which originally caused love to be far from them.

I don’t want to live my life that way, but so often I do.  I make heroic strides toward being a better man and living life to the full, and then I somehow forget and go back to my original nature.  The Apostle Paul once said:

“I do not understand what I do.  For what I want to do I do not do, but what I hate I do.”

That’s why I first loved the idea of beginning to write down my wedding vows.  I wanted something that would remind what kind of man I really wanted to be, so I could remind myself during those times of forgetting.  I don’t know if that makes sense.  I hope it does.


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Quotes to Live By — Romantic Thoughts

The last quote to live by that I mentioned was from my favorite time period, the ancient world.  It got me searching through all the other quotes to live by from that time period that I haven’t read in a really long time.  One in particular, was a romantic quote from the ancient Persian poet, Rumi.  His quote actually was one of the first influential quotes in my life that set my mind a’pondering romantic thoughts, and eventually convincing me that I ought to be a romantic.

“Your task is not to seek love, but merely to find all the barriers within yourself that you have built against it.”  Rumi

When I was younger, I was confronted with a question: “Should I try and find the right person, or try and be the right person?”  Everyone wants to find love, but most people spend all their time searching for the right person without ever giving much thought to becoming the right person for someone else.  When I was younger, I spent so much time looking for that perfect someone.  But then I read quotes like this one, and they made me wonder, what kind of man would that perfect someone want to fall in love with?  Should I be spending all my time looking for her, or should I be spending more of my time becoming the kind of man that a girl like that could really fall in love with?

I chose the latter, to be a romantic, and I set out to remove the barriers to love that I had built within myself.  Of all the romantic quotes to live by I’ve come across, this one has been the most powerful.  It inspired the romantic thoughts that make me who I am today.  I very much hope you enjoyed it!


Quotes to Live By — He Who Clings to His Work

This second installment of quotes to live by comes from one of my favorite eras, the ancient world.  I don’t know why, but there’s an extra spark of something indefinable that comes from quotes that are many thousands of years ago.  When a completely different culture that existed thousands of years ago says something that resonates with you, it carries an extra magic with it, a wonder and awe that someone so distant in culture and time could even impart a wisdom that would resonate deeply with someone who grew up in the fast pace society of modern America.  So, without further ado, here is one of my favorite quotes to live by from the Tao Te Ching:

“He who stands on tiptoe
doesn’t stand firm.
He who rushes ahead
doesn’t go far.
He who tries to shine
dims his own light.
He who defines himself
can’t know who he really is.
He who has power over others
can’t empower himself.
He who clings to his work
will create nothing that endures.”

I love, first of all, how the entire quote is set up in diametrically opposite couplets, that is, everything is black and white.  There’s one side, and there’s the other side. It really helps me to see myself clearer when I think of things in black and white.  Each of these pairings is meaningful enough to be a quote to live by, and this entire stanza resonates with me, but the last two pairings speak especially powerfully to me.  “He who has power over others can’t empower himself.”  How true that is when you stop to think about it.  The only person I can and should control is me.

But my favorite is the last pairing, “He who clings to his work will create nothing that endures.”  This year has been one of many failings for me.  I’ve worked very hard at many projects and had to slowly watch many of them fail.  My first instinct was to just keep at it, keep trying, be diligent.  But that only filled me will strife and anxiety.  Learning not to cling to my work was one of the hardest but most meaningful lessons I’ve ever learned.

And finally, I also really like the middle pairing because it clashes so heavily with the current American philosophical mentality.  “He who defines himself can’t know who he really is.”  Current American philosophy says that each of us creates our own meaning and each of us defines himself and herself.  But according to this, and also what I hold to be true, meaning and the definition of what it means to truly be human exists outside of us.  It defines us, we don’t define it.

Thanks for reading my favorite quotes to live by.  I very much hope you enjoyed!

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Quotes to Live By — Robert Frost

This is the first quote to live by in my new category.  I thought it might be fun to have a category dedicated to the meaningful quotes that have really impacted my life.  This quote to live by comes from the last stanza in a Robert Frost poem titled “Reluctance”.

“Ah, when to the heart of man
Was it ever less than a treason
To go with the drift of things,
To yield with a grace to reason,
And bow and accept the end
Of a love or a season?”

I love this short poetic stanza because it reminds me that I should never live my life in resignation to the status quo, that I should always fight to hold onto the good things I’ve found.  How often in life do we find ourselves bowing and accepting the end of a love or a season?  Even though I’m still somewhat young, I know that letting important things slip away is one of the most haunting realizations later in life.  I don’t want to look back on my life with regret.  And so, I’ve adopted this quote to live by as one of my all time favorites.  I hope it means a lot to you as well.



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