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I don’t know why but I started writing my wedding vows the other day. Being a single guy, that’s kind of strange, even for an old fashioned romantic like me :) It’s difficult to explain why I wanted to start writing them (romantic thoughts are often inexplicable) but once I started writing them, I couldn’t stop. Once I sat down with pen and paper to write them, my mind suddenly began to envision what it would be like to someday stand in front of a girl that I’m hopelessly in love with and vow to her the kind of man I want to be and the kind of life I want to live. And thinking about it brought a new question to mind. Should I try to be that man even now? Would she even care that even before I knew her, just the thought of knowing that I would one day stand before God and her and vow to be the kind of man who’s worthy of the love of a girl like her, gave me the resolve to do those things even before meeting her?
Now I’m not going to share the vows that I’ve written. I don’t think I’ll share them with anyone until the day I share them with everyone. But I will share the poem that I also composed while caught up in the swirl of romantic thoughts that made me first want to start working on the wedding vows. It may not be meaningful to anyone but me. I hope you enjoy it though. Tell me what you think of it.
“This little spot I remember well
The ground where those few teardrops fell
When we went for a walk that Summer’s eve
And I gave you ring that would never leave.
And you gave me a smile that’s always near
A new day’s dawn shone through our fear.
Our hope sank deep and washed us new
And shadows trembled at the glow of you.”
Having lived in many different places, (the jumbled cities of third world Cambodia, and the solitude of the woods of Minnesota) I’ve considered myself an astute observer of human nature, of men especially. Men are so often a mass of contradictions. I have seen men do crazy things for love, make themselves fools and sacrifice all their comforts and pleasures to go after the person they love. And then, almost immediately, once they get what they fought so hard to attain, they begin to let it go, reverting back to their original nature and doing those things again which originally caused love to be far from them.
I don’t want to live my life that way, but so often I do. I make heroic strides toward being a better man and living life to the full, and then I somehow forget and go back to my original nature. The Apostle Paul once said:
“I do not understand what I do. For what I want to do I do not do, but what I hate I do.”
That’s why I first loved the idea of beginning to write down my wedding vows. I wanted something that would remind what kind of man I really wanted to be, so I could remind myself during those times of forgetting. I don’t know if that makes sense. I hope it does.
If you liked this post, you’ll definitely like Ben’s book At Home Across the Sea
Check it out.
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18 Comments
This is very special what you have done. I think your poem is beautiful, touching, and very romantic. That you have such a deep love for the wife in your future is profound, and, when you meet, she will recognize the treasure she’s been given. I am leaving tonight absolutely full of the best feelings about the future you are gently creating, the beauty of which you will be so deserving.
we all need those reminds…and your vows are eloquent…i imagine when you do find her, they may change a bit to reflect all that she means to you, and how she has touched your life…until them, keep the reminders…and keep striving…
Lydia, thank you so much for your kind words. It makes me very happy that you thought the poem was beautiful. Thank you so much for stopping by!
Brian, thank you as always for your insights. I will definitely keep striving.
Hi Ben,
I second Lydia’s comment. Your poem is beautiful! I think that writing your wedding vows and reviewing them often will help you stay on track so that you forget less and less. By the way, I think your true nature is this romantic, gentle soul you represent here and when you forget you just aren’t being present. Go easy on yourself. Your goodness shines through here!
Thank you for sharing all of this in your blog. I know from experience that sometimes those especially personal entries can be a little painful!
Jodi, thank you so much for you kind encouragement. It makes me very happy that you liked it! Even though you’re right, it is sometimes difficult to put such personal information out there for all to see, having people like you giving me feedback makes it a lot easier
As I read this particular entry, it gives me an impression that your soon to be lady love is so lucky and blessed to have you as a part of her life. For awhile, as I read this post I thought you are really in love! Great poem by the way.
Thanks Jenny! I’m really glad you liked it. And thanks for wishing me the best.
It does make sense. I am a single man myself but still working on my prenups.
Thanks man. And thanks for stopping by!
Ben,
I will tell you, it doesn’t matter who this girl ends up to be, she will deeply love the heartfelt consideration you’ve put into being the man that you are…
With this blog entry, I am now convinced that you’ve traveled here from a different era ;). Who are you…haha…I’m glad to know that such a person as you exists in our world of those “contradictory” men…
Haha, that should be my tag line “A long time ago, in an era far far away.” You know me though, I’m not all that different from your average guy. I probably just put a little more thought and consideration into relationships. But I thank you for your thoughts and for thinking highly of my eclectic romantic thoughts.
You do well to give your wedding vows some serious thought - as they are more than romantic sentiment, but a lifelong commitment. Wonderful post - wonderful blog!
Thanks Debi. Very glad you came by to check out my blog. I very much enjoy your romantic vineyard as well!
I think when a man tries hard to win over love and then loses excitement upon winning it is on hunting adventure. An animal is not much fun after its killed. Hunting tells great deal about behaviour of men, such as focus on one thing only (a woman can find something in refrigerator more easily than a man), habit to take aims (throwing stones in wilderness of boyhood, balls in sports, towel in the gym), tendency to go outdoors and explore and so on.
I agree. You are very correct. Excitement shouldn’t be lost once a man wins his love. But so often it is. People forget to keep on fueling their love and feelings for each other. Thanks very much for stopping by!
the poem is beautiful. i think fear of intimacy is something everyone faces, and so often we do take a brave step forward only to have a second thought and fall back in fear. when abiding in the Vine of Jesus, we can be saturated, marinated in His love…i believe only then can we live confidently. perfect love casts out fear. being vulnerable is scary, yet i feel that when we live in His love we can be courageous, and “A new day’s dawn [will shine] through our fear”.
God is the author of romance. i pray that as you delight in Him, that He will give you the romantic desires of your heart.
Thank you Erin. Your comments are much appreciated. I agree completely with you. Perfect love casts out fear, and growing closer to God definitely brings courage. Thanks very much!
You’re welcome, Ben.
You’re an amazing writer. Thank you for sharing your gift!
By the way, it’s great to see you’ve had some books published…the dream is coming true! I remember reading At Home Across The Sea while in the proofing stages. It’s a novel to get lost in.
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