I think more than anything, I am in love with the idea of being in love. It sounds like an odd, or even juvenile statement, but it has come from many hours of pondering. Most people would look at a statement like that and say: “You shouldn’t put so much hope in love. You have too high an expectation.†I agree with those who would say that. What I am trying to say is something different which I will try and articulate.
Most people are devoid of a healthy longing for the finer things in life. How many a man is completely resigned to his lot in life, settling for nothing more than the simple pleasures right in front of his face, sadly convinced that great and wonderful things aren’t possible for him in this world? But how can we live life in such a way, knowing that the time is short? I think of a favorite Bible passage:
“Each man’s life is but a breath;
Man is a mere phantom that goes to and fro
he bustles about, but only in vain
he heaps up wealth not knowing who will get it.â€
In this world, our time is short. The meaning and passion we find in life truly are momentous and worthy things, and we should take delight in the fact that we are allowed to be a part of them.
There’s a simple scene that often plays through my mind. One day, however long from now, I will be in love with a girl, and she will rest her head contentedly on my shoulder. I’ll look over at her and smile and she’ll smile in return and she’ll squeeze my hand tightly, and we’ll know that what we have is something rare. Half of the joy of being in love will be the realization that I have been given something truly grand and wonderful in life – that life is short, and though I am just a breath, I can be a breath breathed deeply.
When I say that I am in love with the idea of being in love, I do not in any way mean to say that I’m placing all my hope in someone else to fill up what’s lacking in my life. Rather, I am in love with the idea of what love is, that I will one day get to share in it, and though the time is short, we will make our time worthy of remembrance.
Many people don’t take this view of romance. They view the world as mundane, already having had many relationships in the past, romance looks much less shiny than before. But they don’t realize that when a person approaches life this way, without hope of truly grand and wonderful things, protecting themselves from being vulnerable, the result is simple mediocrity, a life lived in the shadows.
You’ve often heard the business slogan “You have to give before you can get.†Oddly, this is how I feel about romantic relationships. Half of how our romantic relationships turn out will probably come from what we think about them beforehand. We we give enough of ourselves to allow ourselves to dream of the possibilities in the world? Or will we live with small expectations, enduring life more than living it? Thanks for reading.
9 Comments
Great post, Ben! I love it that you have such a lofty respect for love! And I love how you wrote, “and though I am just a breath, I can be a breath breathed deeply.” Just reading that centers me and makes me feel connected to something beautiful. Thank you for sharing this perspective with all of us!
Right on
Thanks Jodi! That’s really kind of you to say. Thanks very much for your encouragement and for stopping by again.
I have been on the other side of this; given my heart completely, casting all vulnerability aside, only to find the other wasn’t in the same place, or eventually grew tired. Love should not take such effort or grow tired like an old horse. My belief is when a person gives love, it lives forever, and even if those two part, they always carry with them the love they once had for one another. Even short-lived romantic, passionate love is worthy to be lived! It seems we place so much emphasis on long-term relationships, whether they are loving or not. So many people seem to value the notion of being together forever versus seeking something more when love grows tired, leaving the safety net of familiarity to seek something higher. Or they lose a realtionship and are afraid to seek love again, which is unfortunate. I say always seek love, and you will find her because you are the keeper of your dream. And never have regrets for following your heart. This will keep your heart and mind open. Thank you for the opportunity to ponder with you!
I like what you said Genevieve, you are very insightful. I do hope my love will last a lifetime though. I agree with you that it’s really unfortunate that people are afraid to be vulnerable once they’ve already been hurt. That’s pretty rough. You’re brave for not letting it get you down. Thanks very much for your words.
Very well said. It’s important to be reminded not to settle for the simple mediocrity right in front of us, when it is so easily attained, in the face of the laborious task of reaching for what is hoped for, but not guaranteed. Fortunately, I have retained that hope after having lost my love; I know that I must strive to become ever more such a man as may be worthy of the love of a good woman - but, most days, I’ll admit, I’d give nearly anything just to hold her again, if even once. The hope I now hold onto is that it is possible to find that kind of love more than once in a lifetime.
I like how you said it, “the laborious task of reaching for what is hoped for.” That’s so true. And it really is an awesome thing that you’ve been able to retain your hope. If you hadn’t, I would have had to hurt you
You are an inspiration, my friend. In time, we’ll both find what we already know is out there. Thank you very much for coming at last 
Thank you for stopping by today; I am honored so.
You are quite welcome.
Thank you very much for reading my article and enjoying it! I like your site a lot. Neat concept. I’ll have to spend some time there and see what you guys are up to.
One Trackback
[...] A love of love [...]